I had a friend tell me once that I just needed to "put on my red lipstick and go." Now that probably won't mean much to anyone, but for those of you who know me, you know that I always have my makeup on, including lipstick, when I go anywhere. I blame my mother for this because she always told me that you never go anywhere without your makeup and she modeled that behavior for me.
Back to my story, when I was told to "put on my red lipstick and go" it was at a particularly low time im my life. I was battling depression. At the time, I was so sure that I couldn't be depressed. I had everything going for me. I had a wonderful husband, two wonderful children, I was a stay-at-home mom. I knew something wasn't quite "right" with me, but I was certain I couldn't be depressed. I went online and took the little test they give for depression. Even though I answered "yes" to every question except one, I was still not convinced. I finally broke down and went to a therapist. I told him the very same thing. I was not depressed even though I had answered "yes" to every question except one.
You see, I was putting up a facade. I was putting on my red lipstick on pretending that everything was okay in my life. I knew it wasn't, but I couldn't let anyone else know. I felt like I had to hide behind my red lipstick and smile. I was hurting on the inside. I was hurting my husband and my children because at home I didn't have to put on my red lipstick and smile and pretend that everything was okay...
I don't know why I felt compelled to share this today, but like I said I feel that we, as women, sometimes feell like we have to put up a facade and pretend that everyrthing is okay even when it's not. My prayer is that we, as women, wives and/or mothers, can be transparent and that we can realize that it's okay to hurt. We need to share our feelings with others and with God.
